So it’s the beginning of December, and I am feeling quite down. I really don’t feel it’s appropriate to go into details, but let’s just say that old patterns of behaviour have risen to the surface, and I am healing old wounds. I feel insecure and quite vulnerable. Of course, I have my time in Brazil to thank for all of this. As I’ve said before, my healing process has taken me down some very dark corridors, but this one is familiar, and to be honest I’m not having the best of times.

I think I will do some self-hypnosis, and meditate till my head explodes. That will probably resolve the issues. But for today, I’ll take it easy.

I have my quarterly check up at the hiv clinic on tuesday, so I’ll keep you posted. My cd4 was 628 three months ago and viral load undetectable, so I’m expecting my results to be even better this time. Of course, I don’t really pay much attention to the numbers, but more to how I feel. And apart from this emotional roller-coaster ride I’m on at the moment, I feel great.

I’m back at the gym, and I’ve decided to train with a girl called Linda. She’s fun, and has a great energy; it’s a joy to be around her. My usual trainer, a very handsome sexy guy, distracts me, with his bulging muscles, etc. And at this moment in time, it’s the last thing I need.

I have a lot of spare time off work this month, so I can pour a lot of my energy and time into developing my coaching business.. I can’t wait