So today is tuesday, and I’ve been working all day. Since I came back from Brazil, i’ve been quite tired, and the adjustment, although smoother this time, has still been quite difficult. I guess my energy is balancing out. What I have noticed, though, is that my diet is really quite poor. When I was in Abadiania, I ate so much healthy food, and I lost a few pounds, but now that I’m back home, I am drinking coffee again and eating less than totally healthful foods. Now that it has come into my conscious awareness, I can do something about it.

I was lying in the bath an hour ago, surrounded by candles, just allowing the warm water to dissolve all the tension I had in my body, and it occurred to me that I haven’t kissed anyone for about four or maybe five years. That makes me a little sad, though I have had more important things on my mind, like staying alive. I don’t know what made me think about kissing. Well actually that’s a lie. I was thinking about Ralf, or maybe someone else, and it struck me that I may have forgotten how to do it. I suppose it’s just like riding a bike or swimming, but I can’t help but wonder will I be shit at kissing should the opportunity ever arise again. Who knows!! Anyway, as far as Ralf is concerned, maybe it was just a holiday fling! I miss the feeling of being happy, and exhilirated, of being nervous and relaxed at the same time. I miss the connection. But I have bigger fish to fry, and life goes on. Not that I’m unhappy, because I’m not. I actually feel really good, though I could be meditating more often. I’ll start doing that tomorrow morning. I actually found my old meditation cds from when I was with Aiping, my spiritual master in London. They really are amazingly powerful.

I’m also reading an amazing ebook at the moment called ‘ A happy pocketful of money ‘. As you can guess it’s all about wealth consciousness, and how we attract not only wealth, but everything else, from health to happiness, from success to love, into our lives. It gives scientific explanations that complement and verify spiritual truth, and for some people this is really important. I don’t really need the logical proof, but i leave the pages with another perspective, and that’s a good feeling.

So anyway, I may be going back to Brazil for more healing in the spring; it’s more than likely actually. I love it there.

And so my healing journey carries on, life carries on and I am ready to take another step into tomorrow. A good future awaits.