Ok, so I’m back home in Scotland again. The flight from brazil was ok, but I didn’t drink enough water and was really dehydrated. But life here doesn’t seem to have changed any, and every time I come home I feel like I have been ripped right of heaven. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, and in a few days I will have adjusted, but for the moment, I wish I was still in Abadiania, with Ralf, with the beautiful energy, and having nothing to do but relax, and heal.

And so I find myself back in reality. Actually I wonder which experience is the real one and which one is the drastic illusion. No, I don’t need to wonder. Brazil was real, the energy was powerful and amazing and I just wish every day could be so energetic and light.

I know I will be fine in a few days. I have a huge field of mail to plough through, and so many books to read. I also have to write marketing copy for my new website, which should be up and running in a few weeks. But for the moment, I’m going to chill. I feel disoriented, and tired, and I know if I push myself to think about my coaching practice I will just be overcome with negativity, so I’ll lay back and relax.

I do miss Ralf. I miss the connection with him, or was it the connection with my own SELF that I miss. Hopefully I will see him again. He has invited me to Germany, but we’ll see what happens. I have some time off work soon. Anyway, I shall meditate now, and relax in the confidence that I am being healed of HIV.

Have you noticed that I don’t focus too heavily on HIV? I read some blogs, and there are so many complaints about side effects of drugs and how the person’s life is shattered. I completely empathise, because I’ve been there. I nearly died, but there comes a time when you have to decide what you want from life, what you want to focus on. I choose life, and I choose love. My life is unfolding beautifully. I have strength, I have a vision of where I want to be, what I want to do and what I want to have, and I am working towards it. One of my biggest lessons in life, though, is Patience, and I don’t think I’m alone there.

bye for now!