Life is Good

Today is Saturday, and I leave tomorrow for colder and wetter climes. Fantastic! In a way, I will be glad to get home. I have a Life Coaching business that desperately wants to grow, so I need to go home and nurture it, nourish it and let it expand naturally.

So what can I take from my month in Abadiania? Well, it was like three trips all rolled into one. People come and go, and the energy changes so much. First of all, in my first week, I was close to two Australian women. Beautiful souls. I really wish them well. Louise and Julie! We had fun, and we laughed a lot. The best healer of all!

Then there was Ralf! What can I say that hasn’t already been said? We have kept in touch every day since he arrived back in Germany, and I have a strong feeling that this may be the beginning of something special. Or maybe not! Who knows? But what I can take from my experience is a huge amount of joy, fun, and dare I say it, Love!! We bonded in such a beautifully surprising way. I was totally being myself, and I think he was too, but you know what holiday romances are like! They’re amazing whilst you’re still on holiday but when you see each other again, it’s shit, and you wonder why you ever liked the person in the first place. Well, that is my experience anyway. But this time it may be different. We weren’t really on holiday. This was a spiritual, healing retreat.

But you know what? I’m going to take it easy. My heart was opened, and I think I have a lot of ghosts to put to rest and a lot of forgiving to do; starting with myself. Ralf was a shining light that helped me see what is possible. Am I being too romantic? Who knows?

Anyway, never mind! I leave tomorrow and my journey back home is a long one. But this chapter has been beautiful, and I am so grateful to have met some amazing people. Life is good!!

So, if anyone with hiv is reading this, then let me tell you that after you get over the shock, get back on your feet and start living your life. Life can be beautiful, if you open yourself to possibility. Live in possibility, thrive in the passion, and be who you were born to be. Sounds off the wall to some people, and to others impossible. But you create your life. So start creating something special, something sacred. You never know what will happen. I wish you well!

Who’s to blame for my shame?

Well, it’s still thursday and I’ve just come back from the Casa, after seeing John of God. I was in what you call the Revision line, which is basically an energy check-up to see if my operation from last week went okay.

After the operation, it’s important to keep your sexual energy down, but it’s been so hard, if you know what I mean. I don’t think I’ve ever been so horny in all my life. But the entity just looked at me and smiled. But it didn’t stop me from still feeling shame! I guess even spiritual people are allowed to have a hard-on.

Anyway, my time here is nearly over for another six months or so, and in a way I will be glad to get home to see my friends and family, though I will miss the relaxed pace of life in Brazil. But everytime I go home I take a piece of it with me.

If anyone is serious about transforming their life, or maybe have a disease that doctors say is ‘incurable’ then I would recommend you research John of God, and jump on a plane and get here as soon as you can.

It’s good to take a step back

So, today is thursday and the casa healing days have started again. I was in current this morning (meditating), receiving some very powerful energy. I asked the entities for some clarity and balance, and to help me get things back into perspective. I also asked them to heal old relationship issues and insecurities that sometimes rear their ugly heads.

So anyway Ralf has been in touch a few times, and it’s been really nice talking to him again. But I feel that I have been getting so carried away with all the excitement of meeting such a wonderful person, that I have lost some sense of balance, dare I call it self-control. I know he may be reading this, like all the other posts he has read. But as I don’t want to scare the poor guy off, I think it might be good to take a step back. The thing is, I haven’t really conncected with anyone for such a long time, even years before I got sick, and so for this to happen, well it’s quite shocking to say the least. Maybe I should just go with the flow and let life happen; the same advice I give to all my clients. Did I mention that I am a Life Coach??

You know, it’s really funny. I came here for healing, and I got so much more. I got the opportunity to meet a great guy, open my heart, and potentially make a great friend. This really is a huge factor in my healing process. The reason, as far as I’m aware, that I contracted hiv was that I was so unhappy, couldn’t connect with anyone, and was totally closed down. Was I searching for love, and confusing it with sex? Was I reaching out, trying to find some connection, but just looking in the wrong place? Who knows? But what I do believe is that I have had so many gifts in life and have chosen to see them as obstacles, hindrances, and disasters. Every day is a gift! It’s all a question of perspective.

So what I can take away from my time here in Abadiania is that I had a wonderful experience. All the boxes were ticked; even boxes I never knew were on the page, and for this I am so grateful. Nevertheless, it’s good to stand back and gain some clear perspective. Life goes on, and I have a virus to say goodbye to and a business to develop. But I can take comfort in the fact that I experienced something beautiful and natural, and when it comes around again, I’ll recognise it. God knows, it took me long enough this time!