MY JOURNEY BACK HOME

As you can guess, I have HIV, or should I say there is a virus circulating through my body that we humans like to call HIV. It’s just three little letters, but just think about the damage those three letters have caused humanity.. not the virus itself, which can be stubborn and totally aggressive if you let it , but the label, and the fear that this label brings with it.. the message that says ‘you’re dead’ !!!

I have chosen not to take on this message, this belief.. Instead i choose to believe that i will be healed one day, and one day not too far in the future.

My story is pretty run of the mill as far as contracting the virus is concerned; you know, self destructive behaviour and sleeping around, hoping that those moments of false pleasure and excitement would mask the terror of a mediocre life..

But that was then and this is now, and so much has happened. I’ve been to a place that I’m sure many people who read this have been to, but I chose to come back from the brink with faith.. with an unwavering faith that I will be healed.

So, how did I come to adopt these beliefs?

When I lived in London, I studied with a spiritual master; a woman who some people would say is an extraordinary human being, while others call her a charlatan, a thief, a fake.. Who knows what she is, but what I know is that during those four years that I sat in her PRESENCE, I gained something that you can never find in a book.. and that was the ability to connect to YOUR OWN TRUE SELF, or GOD, or whatever label you choose to use.. Labels are funny things!! People take the label to be real thing but it only points to our interpretation of what we think it really is, whatever that may be…

Anyway, that was confusing.. So, I left London and came home, with AIDS.. I won’t go into details, not because it’s a painful part of my existence, coz it wasn’t.. but rather, I would like to focus on the positives in my life, which are that I have my energy back, my looks too… but more importantly, I’ve come through the whole ordeal of almost dying with the real belief, or is it a knowing, that there is no death, just a change of state.. like solid to liquid and liquid to gas. we are just energy, and i can feel it pulsate through my whole system. So if I am energy, and the virus is energy then it makes sense that if i ‘plug’ into some higher, more powerful source of energy then I will be healed, and the virus will be gone forever.

So NOW, I visit a ‘miracle’ healer in Brazil called John Of God, or Joao de Deus as he’s locally known in a little town called Abadiania, which is situated right in the middle of Brazil. He told me that I would be healed in 4 years; well, that was 2 years ago now, so I’m half way there, or maybe even closer than I think..who knows!! All I know is that I love my life, because I’m living my life the way I want to, and it certainly isn’t mediocre..

I know some people think i’m crazy, deluded even, but if I cared about what people thought of me I’d be dead by now…

I see so many blogs on the internet about HIV, and they sadden me because the majority are in so much pain.. they really are focusing on death, which i can understand, but it’s time to ask yourselves the question.. Do I want to live? Do i want to believe that there could be an answer and that answer is waiting for me to find it…. Let’s start looking.. You just never know what you may find!!