Just ONE month to go…. September 18, 2007
Posted by mrpositive in Uncategorized.add a comment
As the title says, I have one month to go before I head off to brazil for some more healing… It really is an astonishing place.. I have been three times already, and really can’t wait to get back..
When I first visited Abadiania, I was totally shocked. What a shithole, I thought. I live in the UK, in relative luxury, compared to what I experienced in Brazil.. the hotel was basic beyond belief, and my room wasn’t like anything I had ever seen before.. the sheets smelled funny, I remember that.. but what really alarmed me was the number of really sick people, of every colour.. and I dont just mean race.. some people were grey, others yellow; in fact, I think I recall a green woman.. Of course, I’m having a wee joke, but the level of sickness there really shocked me.. I thought, ‘what the hell am I doing here’, then I remembered that I was extremely ill.. at this point I weighed about 9 stone, and thought I looked gorgeous, though not really.. I had a six pack for the first time in my life; and last, I may add. The funny thing is, I always wanted to be slim, growing up a bit on the chubby side.. so, the old saying ‘be careful what you ask for’ really hit home.. I had manifested my desire.. but how I longed to be fat again.
So anyway, I had a guide called Phyllis, and was part of a group of very sick people.. Phyllis, our guide, would take us in front of Joao (John of God), every wednesday, thursday and friday, twice a day, and he would prescribe herbs, tell us to come back for a spiritual operation, or have a crystal bed.. you’re probably thinking, ‘what is he on about!’, but it will all become clear as I carry on with this blog.. let’s just say, I had some treatments, which would stretch many people’s maps of reality.. I had a spiritual background, spending four years with a chinese spiritual master in london, so It really wasn’t anything new to me… But seeing all of those sick people really was.. I remember one man in our group called Richard.. a lovely older man about 65.. he had cancer in his belly.. he looked pregnant.. anyway, we really bonded on that trip, but I never kept in touch with him after we returned home, and I wish I had.. He sadly died last year..
So anyway, my group was full of irishmen, and women… talk about hilarious.. i love the irish… so warm and genuine; at least my group were.
So I stayed there for one whole month on that trip, and received lots of healing.It truly was a fantastic experience, and i couldn’t wait to go back..
However, by the time I got home to scotland, i had probably lost about another 7 pounds so you can imagine, i looked like shit! You see, the food at the pousada(hotel) was quite basic, and really was almost identical from one day to the next, and i quickly got sick of it, and on top of that I had really bad digestion problems. So anyway, I got home, and settled back into life slowly.. Then I got so tired, and weak. My digestion became worse, and I lost even more weight. God, this is sounding all doom and gloom, but it really wasn’t!!
Needless to say, I deteriorated quite qucikly when I returned home. My family thought it hadn’t worked, and that I had wasted a month of my time; time they probably thought I should have been spending with them; they obviously thought I was dying. But I knew I wasn’t. Looking back on that time, I returned from Brazil with a real sense of inner peace. I had been touched by some other-wordly force that really made me feel that no matter what was to come in my life, none of it really mattered. I felt bliss, and it was beautiful.
As the weeks went by, I tried to go to work, but I had to leave early almost everyday, until I thought, I can’t work anymore. Eventually, I went to the hospital to sign up with the HIV clinic, and the look on my Dr’s face really said it all. She insisted that I stay in the hospital for a thorough going over. She thought I had pneumonia. She was right, I did. So I stayed in hospital for six days, but it was freezing cold, and I had pneumonia.. Not a good combination. I think they put the heating off that week, so it really wasn’t a surprise to me when I became hypothermic. It’s quite funny really. Every time I complained that I was cold, they would throw another blanket over me. They were so heavy, and I was so thin, and I felt powerless, physically. And do you know what happens when nylon blankets collide with nylon blankets? Fireworks!! The static electricity was amazing! In the end I got this inflatable warm air blanket. Bloody brilliant, it was!
I remember my family coming in to see me, never taking their coats off. And there was me, lying on the bed, dying!! Or so they thought! It never ever crossed my mind that this was it. I knew it wasn’t time for me to leave. I felt so strong inside, and I guess it was this knowing that helped me through, albeit with a drug cocktail of Septrin and steroids!
My family’s reaction to my time in hospital, and my state of health in general has been very interesting to say the least. Some wounds healed, and others that were once silently strong could have turned septic, had I not had the awareness to forgive, but that’s another story!!
Do you believe in miracles? September 5, 2007
Posted by mrpositive in heaing, hiv, spiritual healing.1 comment so far
As you can guess, I have HIV, or should I say there is a virus circulating through my body that we humans like to call HIV. It’s just three little letters, but just think about the damage those three letters have caused humanity.. not the virus itself, which can be stubborn and totally aggressive if you let it , but the label, and the fear that this label brings with it.. the message that says ‘you’re dead’ !!!
I have chosen not to take on this message, this belief.. Instead i choose to believe that i will be healed one day, and one day not too far in the future.
My story is pretty run of the mill as far as contracting the virus is concerned; you know, self destructive behaviour and sleeping around, hoping that those moments of false pleasure and excitement would mask the terror of a mediocre life..
But that was then and this is now, and so much has happened. I’ve been to a place that I’m sure many people who read this have been to, but I chose to come back from the brink with faith.. with an unwavering faith that I will be healed.
So, how did I come to adopt these beliefs?
When I lived in London, I studied with a spiritual master; a woman who some people would say is an extraordinary human being, while others call her a charlatan, a thief, a fake.. Who knows what she is, but what I know is that during those four years that I sat in her PRESENCE, I gained something that you can never find in a book.. and that was the ability to connect to YOUR OWN TRUE SELF, or GOD, or whatever label you choose to use.. Labels are funny things!! People take the label to be real thing but it only points to our interpretation of what we think it really is, whatever that may be…
Anyway, that was confusing.. So, I left London and came home, with AIDS.. I won’t go into details, not because it’s a painful part of my existence, coz it wasn’t.. but rather, I would like to focus on the positives in my life, which are that I have my energy back, my looks too… but more importantly, I’ve come through the whole ordeal of almost dying with the real belief, or is it a knowing, that there is no death, just a change of state.. like solid to liquid and liquid to gas. we are just energy, and i can feel it pulsate through my whole system. So if I am energy, and the virus is energy then it makes sense that if i ‘plug’ into some higher, more powerful source of energy then I will be healed, and the virus will be gone forever.
So NOW, I visit a ‘miracle’ healer in Brazil called John Of God, or Joao de Deus as he’s locally known in a little town called Abadiania, which is situated right in the middle of Brazil. He told me that I would be healed in 4 years; well, that was 2 years ago now, so I’m half way there, or maybe even closer than I think..who knows!! All I know is that I love my life, because I’m living my life the way I want to, and it certainly isn’t mediocre..
I know some people think i’m crazy, deluded even, but if I cared about what people thought of me I’d be dead by now…
I see so many blogs on the internet about HIV, and they sadden me because the majority are in so much pain.. they really are focusing on death, which i can understand, but it’s time to ask yourselves the question.. Do I want to live? Do i want to believe that there could be an answer and that answer is waiting for me to find it…. Let’s start looking.. You just never know what you may find!!
Hello world! September 5, 2007
Posted by mrpositive in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
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